“Doing” the Bottle

July marks our four year anniversary with our oldest daughter, adopted from China in 2008.  At that time, she was almost three; now she’s turning seven.  She has grown up so much–she can read, write, dance, sing, and is such a social butterfly!   Sometimes, I forget that she didn’t grow in my tummy (although she did grow in my heart for many years!).   I am honored that she love me and calls me Mommy– even though I don’t look like her.  She has far more grace for my many imperfections than I do for myself.  Putting it simply–she is a blessing to us, the constant reminder that the Lord is ever-present and ever-moving.

Life is moving so fast, but today, the Lord put the stopwatch on me once again.

It is nine o-clock at night, and we are trying to get four kids QUICKLY into bed after a late night of baseball.  As I pull my oldest daughter out of the shower and wrap her up in a towel, she begins to quietly sing a song to me that she has written.  I place her on my lap and listen to the rest of the song; she immediately nestles up close to me.  Suddenly, she cries out, “Ma Ma, I want to be a baby and have a bottle.”  Though my first reaction is to throw the pj’s on and toss her into bed, I am reminded of this:

“Reparent” the child’s real age not the chronological one.

Somehow, I know that I need to stop and “do the bottle” with her.  By allowing her to regress back to that infant stage, I know that her past, unmet needs are finally being fulfilled.  Her independence will only grow and develop as a result from being allowed to be dependent on “one person” instead of many different caregivers.

For more information about reparenting, go to The Heart of the Matter: Because We Waited series.



  1. […] at night–not to mention being the only girl.  We’ve resolved this problem two ways: Doing the Bottle and putting both beds on the floor–no more bunk […]

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